A Mage's Dilemma
by Kurgs
Summary: AU. Marian's father has lost someone very important to him. The naive Marian sets out to find this person, and ask him to come home. That person is an elf named Fenris and Marian has no idea just how evil her father really is. Mage!MarianXFenris
1. Journey

**A/N:** And here it is! I'll be brief with my notes! First off, a giant kudos to my beta, Wynterkiss, and a huge congratulations to the winner of my little contest, Emperor's Sister! I had a terrible time choosing a winner, but in the end this was a clear choice. My actual notes are as follows: First off, this story operates on the assumption that both Marian and Garret exist, though they were born to _very_ different families, so yes, Marian is the gorgeous default model, sans face paint with, let's say, Isabela length hair, but that's kind of irrelephant. (*snicker snicker*) Second, the entire story will _not_ be in journal entries, I promise. Only pieces of Marian's actual journal will be written like this. Finally! This story will be written in relatively short chapters, that way I can get it out faster, I know that's probably a disappointment to some of you, but them's the works. Now! Read on, my brothers and sisters!

* * *

_Entry #?_

How many times? How many freaking times does this have to happen before I realize that _mages are bad? _Fenris is always mouthing off at me about how they're all the same, but time and time again I defend them, and for what? Aside from, well, me, the only mages I'm sticking up for are _not_ good examples of how wonderful mages are. An abomination and two blood mages. _Two! _Absolutely exemplary. At least Garret and Anders can stick up for themselves. No, Marian, don't forget your family! You've gotta be kidding me. My family? Do you remember who my father is? Why would I even think that? Well, it's obviously because I'm still holding out that someday I'm gonna get hit over the head hard enough and find out that the last 21 years have all been a colossal joke. I'm really a noblewoman in Orlais! I just drank too much last night! I have a thousand dresses and a stockpile of jewelry and everyone is nice and- No! No! I can't think that way. I can't fault myself for loving him. He was good to me! He was the perfect father. _Was._ He _was_ the perfect father.

It's my fault though, and I know it! His one rule, the _one rule_ was that I don't leave home. I had a whole mansion to myself, everything I could ever want! If I hadn't left none of this would have ever happened. I would have never known anything and I could have lived my life in blissful ignorance! I set out to do something nice for him though! He was just so upset about the whole ordeal and- Stop, Marian, look at yourself. This is pathetic. Fenris is right, all mages _are_ bad. It's just a matter of time before you go bad too. Ugh, Fenris again, _stop thinking about him. _Stop it. It's never going to happen.

But he was here and we kissed and it was wonderful! He even cares about me enough to overlook the fact that I'm a mage! He was thinking about me, he said it himself, so much so that he could "think of little else", I heard him say it! No. No. No. A thousand times no. This is a failed endeavor, I need to cut and run and go home and hope my father will forgive me for running off like this. But, I have friends! I've never had _friends_ before. Again, Marian, _no._ I lied to them. I lied to _all_ of them. Even Fenris. _Especially_ Fenris. The rest of them would never forgive me, but him, no, he'd kill me. Kill me dead, right there on the spot.

I need to go home. He has to be looking for me. He'll show up any minute now and then everyone will know exactly how I've lied to them. I'm not from the Free Marches. My father isn't back home working as a tailor. I was born and raised in the Tevinter Imperium, and my father's name is Danarius.

* * *

_Entry #1_

Papa was right, the world is full of nasty, nasty people. I have spent the last few days wondering whether I should turn around and go home. I haven't even made it out of the Imperium yet! We took trips together, but, everyone was always so nice to us. The people I meet now, I mean, some of them are alright, but for the most part they're all scum. Last night I caught a man trying to grope me in my sleep! How he got in my room is beyond me, but I lit his head on fire and he went running. Maybe I left the door unlocked. That must be it, Nina always takes care of the doors at home, I must remember that.

* * *

_Entry #2_

I found a wonderful caravan traveling south that was willing to bring me along. They move fairly quickly at times, but that is all the better. All they ask in return is that I help with the cooking and cleaning and such. They are new concepts to me, but I have managed. I like to imagine Nina there with me when I'm working, it always makes it easier. Everything is so different without her. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind having to do things by myself, but her absence saddens me nonetheless.

I haven't told anyone who I am, and they don't seem to mind. Half of them don't even seem to know themselves.

* * *

_Entry #3_

The things I hear about my father are just awful. At least, I think they're talking about him. Every now and again I hear his name, but perhaps there is simply another of him around here. It's not like I'm the only Marian in the world. We made it to Vol Dorma today and the rumors about him have died down, but perhaps it is best that I keep my relation to him a secret. There's a woman in the caravan that keeps her face covered all the time, all you can see are her squinted eyes and age lines. Her name is Stanley, it's not a woman's name at all, but, she doesn't seem to care, and I suppose at times she does seem quite manly. She sounds it, too, but she dresses like a woman and that's good enough for me. She's taught me how to lie about who you are. She said that who I was doesn't matter, that the caravan is fresh start for everyone. We thought up this wonderful tale about how my father is a tailor and mother keeps house all by herself while he's away on business. We lived on the outskirts of Starkhaven, by the Minanter! It's a lovely story, and I think I like it better than my own.

* * *

_Entry #4_

I find myself homesick, and I have hardly been gone a month. I miss Nina. I miss my own bed. I miss Papa. I wonder if he knows I'm gone yet. No, probably not. He's been awfully busy lately. More than likely I have a few months before he'll even know I'm gone. That's more than enough time to find this Fenris character. I started asking questions and the man I spoke with this morning, name's Charles, said that it's no secret where he is, it's just that no one wants to go get him, says "the prize ain't worth the cost." I don't know why everyone is so afraid of him. I asked him but he wouldn't say. Nina was quite against talking about him for some time as well, apparently this isn't the first time he's gone missing. I noticed the change in my father then, but luckily Fenris came back. When I finally got Nina to say more than "Your father is simply upset because he lost something." she seemed terribly sad, like there was something she wanted to tell me, but didn't have the words. I remember the look on her face when I told her I was leaving, pure terror. I tried to convince her to come with me, but she would have none of it. Eventually I just told her that I had given up on the idea, she was quite at ease by it and stopped watching me so carefully. I left the next night. I felt terrible for lying to her, but it had to be done. Father doesn't deserve to be so upset, and he'll be perfectly happy when Fenris and I get home.

He's in a city called Kirkwall. Luckily for me, the caravan actually heads that way! They deviate from the Imperial Highway near Cumberland, then follow the coast up all the way to Antiva City! I'm not sure how they get through the basin of the Minanter, but I suppose I could always ask.

* * *

_Entry #5_

We reached Cumberland early this morning. We've stopped to stock up on supplies before heading on. Cumberland is wonderful city, _all _the cities we've been to have been wonderful, once you get past the bad parts of course. I talked to Charles about Fenris again, since we're getting closer to Kirkwall and he's quite knowledgeable about anything that offers a monetary reward. He warned me against looking for him though, said that a pretty young thing like me didn't need to go to an early grave, he said that I should just stay with the caravan, I fit in wonderfully here. He also said that if I really needed extra work that those kind of jobs were certainly not for ladies. He seemed awfully confused though, as if I were going to hurt the man. I only need to talk to him, I'm sure that any sensible being would listen to me. All I have to do is tell him how upset father is without him and ask him to come home. I don't know why anyone wouldn't, it's a wonderful place! Hot meals three times a day, fluffy blankets and new dresses whenever you want them, not that a man would want dresses of course. I miss that, too, father used to bring me a new dress every time he came home. I don't understand why this Fenris left in the first place, or why I've never met him if he's so important to my Papa. I'll have to ask him. It seems like there's something I'm missing though, like, everyone knows something I don't. Maybe they just assume that I already _do_ know what it is, even though there's no way I possibly could! Not that they would know that either.

Anyway, after that we had a delightful talk about the people we'd met on our travels, and how I'd gone from cook and cleaner to entertainer! Oh! I haven't written about that, have I? The caravan has to make money somehow, so every three nights we put on a show for whatever passerby cares to stop. It's wonderful. Stanley caught me singing one of father's lullabies when I was working and decided that I just had to start singing for them. She's always quite eccentric too, put me in the oddest costume. I told her that I'm far too pale to wear garments like they do with all that skin showing and the beads and the colors, but she says no, it doesn't matter what color your skin is "as long as you're pretty, and the Maker made you pretty somethin' awful." That's how she talks, you know? There's always something of a crowd but many of them are stingy with their coin. The caravan always seems to come out ahead though, I sense that perhaps Filbert is being sticky with his fingers again, or they all are, I wouldn't put it past them.

* * *

_Entry #6_

Kirkwall is not far now. Only a day's journey. I have told Stanley and Charles that I'm leaving, and the rest know, too, but it's them I still need help from. Stanley has set me up with a fair amount of money, I should be able to afford lodging at a place called The Hanged Man for several months, with food and everything! She's given me quite a wardrobe, too, and not all of it those dreadfully hard to wear show costumes that she knows I'll never don in public. She says I should keep them anyhow, good memories are hard to find after all. Apparently the caravan is far richer than we seem, what with all the pickpocketing, it turns out it _is_ everyone. They only take from the ones who are too mean to give it away though, so, I suppose that's... fair? I thought that maybe Stanley was being too nice to me, but she, and everyone else, said that that's what you do for family.

Family. It's hardly been four months and they're calling me family. I agree with them though, they really are family to me now. I told them I didn't know whether or not I'd ever see them again. Stanley just chuckled and said "Oh, you'll come back, they _always_ come back." No matter how much I still find myself missing home, I almost hope that's true.

Before I left Charles tried to convince me not to go. He relayed all the information I had asked him for, about where Fenris was. He told me that he was friends with a relatively infamous (in the right circles) mage named Garret Hawke, the dwarven storyteller himself, Varric Tethras, and the Rivaini woman everyone loved so much, Isabela. He said that they're helping people, that this Hawke takes on all sorts of odd jobs and such, and brings Fenris along for support. Apparently this Hawke has put together quite the band of misfits. He said it like it would convince me not to go, and then he said something frightening. "But magic or no magic, Mari, that elf'll kill you deader than Sally's cat," Sally's cat is actually just the skeleton of a cat, she couldn't let go of the poor thing after he died, "no matter how profitable, slave hunting is no business to be in, especially one as dangerous as that."

I didn't know what to say. Slave hunting? No. That's not right. My father is politician and a scholar, not a- But it makes sense. All those things I've heard about him. They _were _about him. No, no, no, father said it himself, if I ever left home people would say terrible things about him because people _are _terrible. That's just what happens when you beat someone at something, they get angry and spread malicious rumors. That's why I was never supposed to leave home. These rumors are far spread though, and far too- detailed. Charles had told me why Fenris was so special. The story goes that he's laced in lyrium, you can't miss him, and a mage can sense him from a hundred yards. That's not something anyone would make up to make my father look bad, is it? No. This- this can't be right. I'll just, I'll go anyway, I'll talk to the man, I'll ask him if any of it's true.

What if it is, though? And how do you just ask someone something like that? If I just ask him and the answer is yes he'll surely want to know who I am and if he's as dangerous as they say- well, that's probably it for me. I'm not a skilled fighter on my own, sure, I'm a fabulous mage, but if I was close enough to ask him a question he's undoubtedly got the upper-hand. And what if he lies! Filbert taught me how to see lies, but I'm still not very good at it.

I know! I'll tell them that story Stanley and I thought up! That's who I've been for the past four months anyway! I'll- I'll ask for help with something and then try to get myself lumped in with that 'band of misfits' Charles was talking about! Everyone needs help from a mage sometimes, right? Right! It'll be fun! I'll make new friends, just like I did here. Then I'll figure out how to ask Fenris to come home. It'll work out perfectly.

* * *

_Entry #7_

The last stretch to Kirkwall was uneventful, aside from a small group of brigands that thought themselves quite cunning to sneak up on me. I did away with them, cunning indeed. Last night I thought up an ingenious plan, but I refuse to put it to paper lest I jinx it. Sally was always very peculiar about jinxes and curses and superstitions and such, and she's nearly a hundred, so I ought to take at least some of her ramblings to heart.

_Entry #7, Part 2_

The Hanged Man is awful, but exactly what I expected. It is already trash, but when compared to my home in Minrathous it is not even clean enough to speak the name. Per Stanley's orders I told the man there, Corff, that she sent me and he gave me quite the discount! I'll be able to stay far longer than I had originally assumed, and that was some time as it was! He told me that any friend of Stan's is a friend of his. He also said that he'd send Isabela to see me as soon as she woke up (which I hope won't be long now) to show me around the city! What luck I have! Perhaps this will go faster than I assumed.

I do not know if I wish it to, though. I have quite enjoyed my time away from home. It is hard to believe that the only time I set foot out of the place before this was at my father's side every few years. Everything is not so bad as he seems to think. I have begun reconsidering why he wouldn't let me leave. It is starting to seem more and more like the rumors are correct and it is I who has been the fool. No, my father loves me, that I know, he wouldn't do that to me. Nevertheless, I will approach the situation with due caution, and if it _is _true... Well, then it is Nina I fear for.

* * *

**A/N:** So there it is! I hope you enjoyed it! R&R, all that good stuff, thanks for your time, love you guys, I'll get more to you soon!


	2. Debut

**A/N: **Alright! I'm back! Thanks for sticking around! The only thing I have to point out is that while the story is filed under Hawke (F), Marian is _not_ related to Garret, that's simply the only category that made sense to me. Oh! And the italicized paragraphs at the beginning and end are (non-chronological) journal entries! And I know I said I was going to keep them shorter, but... sometimes things don't work out that way... Also, as always, a round of applause to my beta, Wynterkiss! Okay, okay, enjoy!

* * *

_ Today was wonderful! Father came back from his trip early this morning. He brought me this beautiful dress with the most adorable pink lace on the collar! But more importantly, new books! There's more than enough to last me until the spring. One of them is on Fade spirits, it's fascinating! Usually he only brings books on demons and various magic, so this is a nice change of pace. There's one on the fall of Arlathan too, though I'm sure it's just a reiteration of the last two, and there's a large tome on the history of Orzammar that I'm quite looking forward to. He brought that one for me special, he knows how I love the dwarves and their work._

_ Though I'd have to say that the most interesting of all is "A Study of the Prime Emotions". I think this means that I'll finally be able to continue my training. Of course, the whole thing is in archaic Tevinter, so it'll be a challenge, but that's all the better! I do hope father can stay longer this time, he promised me a week, but his work is fickle. I should get some sleep though, breakfast tomorrow is going to be marvelous! Father always has such wonderful stories when he comes home._

* * *

Isabela had spent the last two days in a state of perpetual excitement. After receiving Stanley's letter she had run straight to Hawke to inform him of the development. His response had been "As long as she isn't a useless eyesore I don't care." Fenris and Anders had been present as well, the former rolled his eyes and expressed his abject disapproval of another mage while the latter seemed quite jovial over the concept.

Stanley's instructions had been simple: keep the girl safe from Templars, find her some work, make sure she didn't die, easy enough. To Isabela it was an opportunity, a chance for the little sister she never had. The girl was only supposed to be nineteen. Nineteen! Apparently she was very talented though, despite her age and demeanor, though Stanley refrained from explaining exactly what 'demeanor' the girl had. She had also warned against questioning the young woman too much, the girl was known to clam up when it came to details about her life, but that was par for the course when it came to anyone in the caravan.

When Isabela awoke that morning (well, for her it was morning, to everyone else it was afternoon) Corff informed her that the lady Marian had arrived. Of course Isabela immediately backpedaled up the stairs and made her way to the girl's room. She pounded out two short knocks and a sing-songy chant of 'Marian!' that contained far too many syllables.

Marian's reply was not at all what she expected, nor was _Marian_ exactly what she expected. The door opened and a pale, black-haired young thing stood in what she thought to be a menacing pose. In all actuality it seemed more as though she was about to start dancing. Isabela had expected someone with a little more meat on her bones and far more pigment to her skin. Marian didn't look sickly at all, but the people that traveled with Stanley tended to follow a type. She was absolutely beautiful though, and looked completely unwearied by the troubles life possessed.

Her shockingly white skin made her lips stand out all the more, especially against the contrast of her hair, which was pulled up into a high ponytail that cascaded to the back of her neck. Everything about her features was startling, from the icy blue of her eyes to the crisp line of her jaw. She wore a dark green tunic with light olive colored beading on every edge, with a matching skirt that was, while completely appropriate for life in the caravan, entirely too short for the Kirkwall scene. She donned sandals of leather that were intricately weaved to rise all the way up past her knee. When she spoke her voice betrayed her sentiment, she meant to sound frightening, but as with everything Marian said, it sounded sweet and cautious. "If you have come to grope me, I _will_ light you on fire."

Isabela chuckled, "No, no, no, dear, I have not, and I wouldn't go about threatening to light people on fire, there's always someone listening."

Marian immediately dropped her act, "Well _obviously_. Why would I say it if there wasn't anyone listening?"

Isabela shook her head, suddenly realizing what Stanley must have met by 'demeanor', "Never mind, love. My name is Isabela, I assume you are Marian?"

"Oh yes! I am! It is good to meet you, Isabela! Stanley has told me so much about you!" Every word Marian spoke was enthusiastic and genuine.

"And you as well!" Isabela replied, "I think we're going to get along swimmingly."

"I hope so!" Marian smiled back at her, smiling was something she did quite often, unlike many of the people in Isabela's life.

"Well, I'm sure we can sit and talk later, but for now there's some things I need to show you. Are you ready to see the city?"

"Of course!"

* * *

Their trip spanned nearly the entire day. Isabela did not expect it to, but everything was so fascinating that each stop took hours. Marian walked around with her head in the clouds, always staring intently at something Isabela found thoroughly uninteresting. By the time they had made it through the better half of their trip she noticed the common factor.

"Have you really spent all this time staring at the architecture?" Isabela questioned on the long walk up to Hightown from its lower counterpart.

"Not staring! _Studying!_" Marian explained, particularly enthralled with the arch above the top of the stairs.

"You are... studying?"

"Oh yes! I have spent much of my time studying buildings and constructs and such, but until about four months ago I had never really seen any of them! They are far more interesting, and _big, _up close than they are in books." Marian's speech was rushed and excited.

"Well, I would assume so." Isabela felt as though it was finally time to question something of the girl's origins, "What happened four months ago?"

Marian did not speak for a moment, she actually paused on the stairs to think about her answer, then nodded to herself and continued, "I left home."

"You had never left home before?"

"Oh, I had, but only with my father. And only a very few times. Oh! And we never went very far." Marian's answer was choppy as she continued to add information.

"But surely you had seen the buildings in your city?"

"Only from the window, and they're nothing like they are here!" Marian did not realize the information she had given up.

Isabela was not certain what to make of it, _'only from the window'_ didn't sound ominous when she said it, but its connotation undoubtedly was. Marian obviously didn't think there was anything wrong with it though, so Isabela left it alone. "So, where _are_ you from?"

"Starkhaven." Marian replied without missing a beat, "Well, a ways outside Starkhaven. We lived by the Minanter river. It was just my mother and I most of the time, her name's Nina. My father's away a lot, business, you know?"

Isabela didn't understand, Stanley had said that she wasn't good with discussing details about her life, but she seemed to be offering them up readily enough. Then it dawned on her, the caravan was full of liars, not because they were necessarily hiding anything (though some of them certainly were), but because their reality was far less than desirable. When Isabela had been with them she definitely hadn't gone about telling everyone that she had just escaped a miserable marriage after an Antivan assassin took out her husband. There was one way that Isabela could discern a kernel of truth though, "I do. So, how _did_ you end up with the caravan?"

Marian smiled her wide, happy smile yet again, recalling the memory fondly, "About four months ago I met them when they were crossing the Minanter, I had headed up river some time before and our paths just happened to intertwine, I suppose."

That was more than enough for Isabela to understand why Marian would choose to lie, and further still, enough for Isabela not to question it. The caravan held to a very strict schedule, so people who knew how to find them could. Four months ago they would have been far further north than the Minanter, in fact, they would have been camped just outside Minrathous in the heart of the Imperium. It was the most dangerous leg of their journey, but also the most lucrative.

"Well, I am glad you found them! They are quite the group, aren't they? Does Sally still have her cat?"

Marian's enthusiasm seemed to rise even further when Isabela asked about Sally, "Oh yes! She says Bo-Bo is still in perfect health, and with how often she said it I was starting to believe her."

Isabela laughed loudly, glad to hear that some things really didn't ever change. Marian laughed with her, a lilting, sweet sound. Though a little air-headed and single minded at times, the girl was an absolute delight.

When they reached the top of the stairs Marian was totally overcome. She was completely unreachable while she examined everything as they progressed through the market and into the Chantry courtyard, which she stared at for nearly ten whole minutes. Isabela remained patient, looking forward to the next part of their journey, meeting Hawke and company. She was unsure of how they would react to her. She knew that the regular trio would be there, Anders, Fenris, and of course, Garret himself. Garret was a lech, a loveable lech, but a lech nonetheless, and Marian seemed far less than experienced. Isabela had dropped a few dirty jokes in their time together and she had reacted much as Merril usually did, complete ignorance. So it stood to reason that even if Hawke was as inappropriate as she assumed he would be, Marian wouldn't notice. Isabela was certain they would get along though, Hawke liked just about any mage on principle, and the fact that she was pretty would definitely help matters along. Anders was much the same way, minus the lechery. She was a mage, and _not_ one of blood, so they would undoubtedly hit it off.

Isabela had also ordained that despite first impressions Marian was no idiot, in fact, she was extraordinarily intelligent. Her biggest fear when she had first met the girl was that she was going to be another Merril, and as adorable as Merril was, her foolishness did not gather the approval of their other companions. It was Fenris she was worried about now though. It took him quite some time to see past the word 'mage' and Isabela didn't know whether or not someone as sweet as Marian was equipped to handle how brutish he could be. She recalled her earlier discovery though, Marian was more than likely from the Imperium, surely she would understand his situation, maybe she was even in a similar one.

Just as she had come to the conclusion of her thoughts Marian had finished her inspection of the Chantry. "What a marvelous piece of work! How long must it have taken them to make this? Can we go to the Gallows next? My father always told me that they have amazing statues there, carved right into the cliffs!"

Marian obviously didn't understand what the statues represented, or perhaps she did, and was simply more concerned with their construction. Isabela assumed the latter. "I'm afraid that not only is that where all the Templars are, but we don't really have the time. There are people you need to meet!"

"Oh, I see." Marian seemed quite disappointed, but quickly reformed to her naturally joyous state, "Are they waiting on us? I would hate to leave anyone waiting."

"No, they're probably halfway through their daily argument, I figured we'd surprise them."

"Why would anyone take the time to argue _every _day? That seems quite the waste, especially when one can just_ talk_ with another person." Marian was genuinely confused, which was yet another display of her naivety, but also a sort of simple brilliance.

"I wonder the same thing quite often, but some people just can't let their differences go." Isabela explained.

"I see." It was a sad realization for Marian, "Are you sure we should just drop by uninvited?"

"Don't worry, dear, of course we're invited! They know we're coming, just not when."

Marian nodded, "Well then where are we going?"

"Not far at all!" Isabela exclaimed as she headed in the direction of the Hawke Estate. Marian stopped short when they grew close though, her eyes darted every which way and her breathing sped up. "Marian? Marian, are you alright?"

"Something is wrong." She whispered, truly panicked.

"What it is?"

"Something is- I sense something, something- I do not know what it- Oh." That something dawned on Marian as she spoke, and although her aesthetic symptoms quieted, her heart raced.

"Well, what _is_ it?" Isabela's worry had turned to curiosity.

Marian debated whether to speak, but decided that there was no harm in it, "Lyrium. I sense a heavy amount of lyrium."

"Oh dear, that's just Fenris! He's- well, he's something else."

Marian did her best to seem innocuous, and luckily for her she really did seem simply interested, "Oh? What do you mean?"

"Well, I suppose you ought to know before we go in." Isabela sighed, "He used to be... a slave. His master branded lyrium into his skin, I imagine it was quite painful. He forgot everything that came before that, so he's not exactly very fond of magic. Do not be surprised if he isn't the nicest to you, he's not a bad person, just- jaded."

Marian took a deep breath, for the first time that day her voice was nothing but sad, "I understand. That sounds awful."

"Don't be so down, Marian, he'll come around to you eventually! I just know it! All you have to do is be your wonderfully nice self. Now chipper up! This is supposed to be fun."

Marian giggled a little and smiled again, "Of course! Is there anything else I should know?"

"Um, well, Hawke and Merril are both blood mages, but nice ones, and Anders is _technically_ an abomination, but the good, spirit-y kind. Oh, and Leandra! She's Hawke's mother."

Marian just nodded, seemingly unshaken by all the information, "Okay, but who is Merril?"

"Oh, you'll meet her tomorrow, she's one of the Dalish, a bit quirky, but I think you'll get along."

"She's Dalish! Truly? How wonderful! Do you think she would be willing to talk to me about elven magics and the cathedrals at Arlathan?"

"Oh, I'm sure she would be _more_ than willing."

"Good, good! I'm so glad!" Marian had almost forgotten what they were there to do, "Oh, should we be going now?"

"Yes, yes, of course. Come on, it's just right over here."

When they entered the vestibule Marian, as expected, stopped for her usual inspection. The sound of heated voices came from further back in the house, but she was too concerned with the legs of the benches to notice. Isabela peeked her head into the next room to find Hawke and Leandra, and gathered that it was Fenris and Anders arguing in the library. Leandra was getting ready to leave, probably heading out to see the new suitor that no one was supposed to know about, so Isabela thought to make things quick.

Marian finally made her way past the entry and was just as enthralled with the interior of this room as she was the last, so much so that she entirely missed Leandra's approach. "You must be Marian! What a lovely name, _my_ name is Leandra."

Marian nearly jumped out of her skin, "Oh! Oh yes! You have a lovely name as well, ma'am, and an absolutely wonderful home. Do you know who built it?"

"Ah, no, but thank you! I'm afraid I have to be going though, it was a pleasure meeting you." Leandra gave the girl one of her warm, motherly smiles.

"And you!" Marian replied as she left, and then immediately returned to her diligent study of the room.

"What _are_ you doing?" Hawke crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at her.

She snapped to attention, "I'm trying to determine whether your fireplace is of dwarven or human origins."

Hawke was a very attractive man, but Marian didn't seem to notice, and if she did, she didn't care. Her sheltered life had led her to be blissfully ignorant of the desires of men, and though her journey to Kirkwall had taught her much she had done her best to skim over that particular subject. Hawke had expected something,_ anything_, women positively swooned when they saw him. It was a blow to his manliness that a woman as attractive as she was hadn't even paused to look at him. He wrote it off though, perhaps she was too young, or maybe there was something wrong with her, I mean, the woman was concerned with furniture of all things! He donned his charming smile nonetheless, "And what have you uncovered?"

She did not hesitate to answer, "I believe it to be of human make, though it has been altered by a dwarven hand."

"Quite impressive, that'd be Sandal's work." Hawke was genuinely impressed, though he still thought it something of an odd area of expertise. At least the girl wasn't as dimwitted as he had assumed her to be from her conversation with his mother. "My name is Hawke, Garret Hawke."

"Yes! I know! Isabela told me, I'm Marian." Then they shook hands and things delved into an awkward silence.

It was quickly broken as the arguing pair entered the room. "I'm just saying, Fenris, you catch more flies with honey."

"It is a good thing I do not want to catch flies then." Fenris growled back at Anders.

Marian was absolutely dumbstruck when she saw him. She had been able to lie to herself up until that moment, she could pretend that it was all fake and such a being could not possibly exist, but there he was. Proof, that's what he was, proof of her father's crimes. No, no, that couldn't be right. There had to be another explanation. Maybe he actually wanted the markings, they made him powerful and everyone wanted power, right? Right.

She was staring, that much was obvious, but her eyes had finally come to rest on his face. Maker, he certainly was striking, and frightening, and terribly handsome. When the thought crossed her mind she realized that _all three _of them were handsome. _'Ah-ta-ta, no, there's no time for that.'_ Marian scolded herself, but she had not taken into account that she was still staring.

Fenris did though, "Wonderful. Another mage to gawk at me."

Marian raised her hands in a gesture of surrender, "Oh no, no, sir, I did not mean to- I- I apologize! I am sorry I-" She sighed after flubbing over her words, "I am Marian." She extended her hand after introducing herself.

She came off as an absolute child. She was going to be a hassle, he could tell, she didn't carry herself like someone who had ever seen battle. If she really was going to be working with them it was going to be a challenge, and a danger. "Fenris, and I don't shake hands with mages."

Marian nodded and refrained from making eye contact, "I understand, it is good to meet you Fenris."

If he was going to say anything he didn't get the chance, Anders cut in, "I, on the other hand, _do_ shake hands with mages. My name is Anders."

Marian was thoroughly affected by Anders' charm, his eyes, his smile, the warmth of his hand against her cold one, and for a second she forgot where she was. She replied with a single word, "Marian."

"I know," he chuckled, "so, _Marian_, I have to ask, what kind of magic could a girl like you possibly practice?" Anders wasted no time.

Fenris almost thought to leave, then realized it was not only rude, but that he should learn as much about this new mage as he could. He knew full well that looks could be deceiving. Marian seemed confused, "A girl like me?"

"Isabela assured us that you would be an asset to the team, but I don't see someone as young and _pretty_ as you being able to hurt anyone."

Marian giggled nervously, Fenris and Isabela both scoffed, though for entirely different reasons, and Hawke rolled his eyes. _'She's gotta be ten years younger than you. Wait, never mind...'_

"Well, I am, what the textbooks call a... manipulator, but I'm not a blood mage, truly." She paused, "And I don't hurt people! I've never turned my magic on anyone that didn't try to hurt me first, I promise!" Marian wasn't exactly sure who she was trying to reassure, "Oh! And fire! I'm good at fire, but I, really can't do anything else."

Anders thought her rambling absolutely adorable, though he could not place why he found it more than tolerable with her and irritating with Merril.

"Wait, a what?" Hawke asked.

"A manipulator." Fenris said with a scowl, "They prey on emotions, mutating and even manufacturing them. When skilled enough they can manifest such a feeling of fear in a person that it causes a heart attack, or a rage so intense that they turn on their allies." Fenris decided the moment the word came out of her mouth that he hated her and his disgust was far more than evident. It was more than just her magic though, there something eerily familiar about her that he couldn't put his finger on.

Isabela questioned him, "Why do _you_ know that?"

"It was Danarius's specialty."

Marian stared at the floor. The pieces kept fitting together. The room was silent for a moment. "Can you _really_ do that?" Hawke asked.

"Well, yes, but, I prefer not to." Marian answered, "I'm much more partial to the positive applications."

"What _positive_ application could a talent like that possibly have?" Fenris snarled.

"Giving a person peace and joy! Happiness!" Marian was almost pleading with him, but it did not take.

"How about lust? Does it work with lust?" Hawke interjected, incredibly intrigued with the concept.

Marian's eyes went wide, "I- I hardly think that is appropriate."

"So yes?"

"Hawke." Isabela warned.

"Fine, fine." He said, "Where would you learn magic like that anyhow? As far as I know it isn't exactly common apostate practice."

"It's _quite_ common in the Imperium, I assume you're a child of that death pit?" Fenris sneered.

"Fenris!" Isabela barked.

"What?"

"No, it's alright Isabela." Marian had been vaguely startled by her exclamation, "It is a valid question. I was taught by my father, he says it's just in my blood. I lived outside Starkhaven, by the river, not the Imperium." Marian smiled again, she was a skilled liar despite her limited experience.

Fenris just shook his head. "Well, we're glad to have you with us, just don't, you know, turn on us." Hawke replied.

"Oh, I won't, I promise!"

"Your promises mean nothing." Fenris practically growled.

"Fenris, what the hell is with you today?" Isabela put her hand on her hip and turned on him, "What did she ever do to you?"

"It is not about what she did, it's about what she _can_ do. Do you have _any_ idea how dangerous magic like that is? Especially in the hands of a complete idiot?" He shouted.

"She is _not-_" Isabela started.

"Isabela, please, it's alright." Marian tried to diffuse the situation, but Isabela was still upset. Normally she could handle Fenris's biased crap, but _normally_ he wasn't so vocal about it, and was never this rude to someone who hadn't done anything but say hello. She couldn't understand how Marian could remain so abjectly nice through all of it either.

"No, it _isn't_ alright, Marian, you don't deserve to be talked to like that."

"I am quite used to people judging me based on what they perceive my level of intelligence to be. It does not bother me." Marian had spent much of her trip interpreting what people thought of her, more often than not they believed her a simpleton and it tended to work in her favor. Her father was the only person who knew just how smart she was, after all, he had taught her. Architecture was her hobby, but magic and history were her truest subjects. She knew Thedas and the workings of the Fade and its creatures better than just about anyone. She had spent years upon years reading and studying, there was not much else to do in her situation.

Her situation. She had thought of it as a _situation_,as though her upbringing wasn't normal. She had never thought of it that way before. It was still home, it was still safety, but she felt her grasp on it slipping. It was amazing what a few short months in the real world had done to her, she had adapted far better than she had thought she would.

"It bothers _me_." Isabela replied. There was another tense silence.

Anders took a step closer to Marian, "So, have you had any experience with Templars?" He was good at talking, and Marian was grateful for it.

"Uh, no. Have you?" Marian asked.

Anders and Hawke both laughed, "Of course I have! How have you _not?_"

"Luck?" Marian smiled, by luck she meant solitude.

"Very lucky indeed. I'll show you how to avoid them, you... can even come stay at my clinic if you need to lay low." He smiled back at her.

"I hope I won't have to, but thank you!"

"Anytime, Marian."

Marian was completely unaware that he was hitting on her. Fenris groaned and headed for the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" Hawke called after him.

"I need a drink." He replied as he left.

Isabela waited until she heard the door slam, "I am sorry, Marian, I did not expect him to be that bad."

"I wouldn't worry about it," Hawke said, "he's just bitter. He'll warm up to you eventually, hopefully."

"Don't hold your breath, he still hates me." Anders added.

"That's because _you're_ an overzealous abomination."

"As opposed to a blood mage?"

"Now you're just splitting hairs." Hawke replied with an effeminate wave of his hand.

The remaining group shared a laugh. The air in the room was light, happy, no one cared what anyone else could or couldn't do and they all seemed to be looking forward to working with their new friend. Marian pretended that she really was from that village by the river, and if she pretended long enough maybe it would be true. She pretended that the man she had come here to talk to hadn't just decided to hate her for what she perceived to be no reason, and that someday everyone would be happy. Her father and Nina and all of her new friends, happy, but she knew now that there was no amount of magic that could make that so.

"I think that we _all_ need a drink." Hawke grinned at Isabela, his long standing friend-with-benefits, not that Marian knew that, to her it was just a grin.

"I'm afraid I don't drink." Marian smiled at the request nonetheless.

"You really don't? Everyone in the caravan drinks!" Isabela was slightly flabbergasted, but after thinking about Marian's demeanor she realized it wasn't all that surprising. She couldn't imagine her drunk at all.

"Never touched the stuff." Marian nodded.

"Well,_ that_ is going to have to be rectified." Isabela chuckled.

"Um, could we do that some other time? I'm not even sure it's legal for me to drink."

"Shit, you're right! How long 'til you're of age?"

"Fifteen months, I think."

"Until then!" Isabela cheered.

* * *

_I figured it out. I know why Papa kept me away from everyone, why he always told me that the world is full of wolves. I do not wish to believe it. I don't want to believe any of it. Maybe there's an explanation, maybe there's something that'll make everything seem okay and, acceptable. There's a reason for everything, you know? I know the truth now though. I know what is and what is not, but despite that, I still love him. He's my father. I know he's evil, I know what he's done, and I know that he hid me from the world because he knows exactly what kind of monsters it contains, because he is one._

* * *

**A/N: **And there we have it! Are we going to do a drunk chapter? Well yeah. We have to. Them's the rules. Anyway, you know the drill, read and review, I love you guys!


	3. An Introduction to Manipulation

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! You have no idea how awesome they make me feel, well, if you're a writer you probably do, and of course, I have to give a shout-out ahead of time to my beta, Wynterkiss. Oh! And there are concerns that Marian is going to be too Merril-esque, but I assure you, although (even through this chapter) it may seem like it now, she'll evolve just like my Charmander. This is gonna be a relatively straight forward chapter, but it's worth mentioning that from now on I'll be marking the journal entries as past or present, actually putting numbers or dates on them seems like a good way to wind up shooting myself in the foot. If I think of a better system, so be it, but for now... Last bit, I promise, this _is_ actually the length I intend for the chapters to be, if I can actually stick to that, well, we'll see. Read on!

* * *

_Present_

_I am uncertain of my place here. I don't know if I fit in with these people. They're so... so... oh, I don't know, just, different. Far, far different. All I can do is keep trying though. But Fenris! Oh, I don't know how long I can deal with him, he's so- __**mean**_**. **_When I got back to my room I cried. I held it together for a while, but no one has ever been that rude to me in my life! Isabela was right, what did I ever do to him! I'm not an idiot though, I know it's my father's fault. I have to wonder why my father would ever like someone so hostile though. He's such a gentle man and I can't seem him getting along well with Fenris. Well, maybe he wasn't always like that. If my father is- No, I know what he is, I do. I just- Ugh, this is too hard to write about. Tomorrow we're supposed to be going to the Keep to meet a woman named Aveline, and a prince! Of all things!_

* * *

The day was muggy and cold. The fog hung over the buildings and an air of depression permeated the streets, though that wasn't much different from the norm in Lowtown. Isabela had expected Marian to be awake by the time she got up, but there was no answer when she knocked on her door. There had been some ruckus quite early in the morning, some idiot woke up screaming about how his skin was burning and Isabela wondered if it had frightened her badly enough to leave. That was unlikely though, it was only her second day in the city and she didn't seem like she would be _that_ scared by something that simple.

Isabela continued her day as normal though, deciding not to worry about it. Besides, if the girl was as talented as she believed she shouldn't get into too much trouble. Unless there were Templars involved. The pirate dismissed the idea, however, assuming that Marian was smart enough not to go flinging fireballs out in public. So she headed to the bar and plopped down next to her favorite dwarf, who was spinning a tale to the morning crowd about Hawke's recent trip to the Deep Roads. Eventually, as the story came to a close, the group thinned until all that remained were Varric's die-hard fans, which he slowly dismissed as Isabela finished her morning drink.

Varric turned to her with a raised eyebrow, but didn't speak. She held her features for as long as she could before the comical value of his expression set in. "Stop that!" She scolded him between chuckles, "Or do you _want_ me to spew alcohol all over you?"

"Yes." He answered, straight faced.

"If I were not so protective of my drink, I would take you up on that." Isabela replied over another gulp.

They shared a laugh and a friendly moment of silence before Varric moved the conversation forward, "So, things are about to get interesting, aren't they?"

"You met Marian? Lovely girl, isn't she?" Isabela asked with a smile.

"Nope. I met Fenris, when he came in here last night. I'll be honest, I never thought he could hate anyone that much, that fast." Varric shook his head, "He acted like she ate kittens and dissected babies for fun."

"That's... really fucking graphic." Isabela tilted her head and suppressed an inappropriate giggle.

"So was his rage." Varric nodded, "It was... intense. More so than usual."

"Trust me, I know. He was a total ass to the poor thing, and she hardly said hello."

"I can see that."

Isabela continued unprovoked, "I mean, I don't care what that asshole magister did, there's no reason to ever be that much of a bitch to someone you just met."

"I know, he said you laid into him."

"Damn right I did." Isabela was getting angry again, "Don't get me wrong, I love Fenris, but who the fuck does he think he is? I wanted to hit him, he was being such a-"

"Isabela!" Varric cut her off, "He said you were right. That's why he didn't argue with you."

"What?" She was truly confused.

"Yeah, after the liquor set in he was, well, the way he always is when he's really drunk, a little bit pathetic. He said that the girl hadn't ever done anything to him and he was jaded and blah blah blah. Then he sobered up and acted like he was angry at her again."

Isabela sighed, "But at least some part of him gets it."

"Yeah, at least there's that." Varric scoffed and changed the subject, "So, where is this mystery woman?"

"I... don't know."

"You don't know?"

"Nope, I knocked on her door, nothing."

"Aren't you worried?"

"Nah, and if you knew why Fenris hated her so much you wouldn't worry either."

* * *

Marian had a difficult night. She had tossed and turned something awful and when she awoke it was to a cold sweat and a nasty feeling of utter dread. Her nightmare had been about Fenris, and how painful it must have been to have lyrium burned into your skin. Marian had always been a vivid dreamer, so much so that she could feel it, or what she imagined it to be, but the pain passed when she woke up.

Those first moments were ones of heart-pounding adrenaline, but when the thumping in her ears had stopped she heard it. A man in the hallway, screaming about his skin. Marian jumped up immediately, knowing that she had to get far away from him. This happened fairly seldom at home, but it had become a regular occurrence on her travels. It was a latent affect of her training that she had no control over, when she was in the Fade her dreams would occasionally transfer to the nearest being. It usually occurred during nightmares, when her mind would reach out for help. Marian had learned that as long as she was the last one asleep and she stayed a decent distance from everyone, no one was affected, but here she didn't have much control over that.

The solution was simple though, leave the building, whatever magical connection she had with this perfect stranger would be severed. She didn't think. She shot up, swung on her cloak and hurried out, but it wasn't until she was far away from the building that she stopped walking. Maybe it was the panic, maybe she was just too busy trying to wrap her head around the subject matter, but either way, she found herself far from her new home.

As soon as she pulled her hood down it hit her, the stench of feces and despair. Her eyes were more offended than her nose however. It was all so odd, from the crumbling, decaying walls to the shoddy craftsmanship of every stairway. She took soft, hesitant steps, no longer concerned with why she was here, what she was doing, or even how she would get back. Marian simply walked. She had an inquisitive mind, all that mattered now was seeing and feeling, experiencing this new place.

She could feel eyes on her as she ran her petite fingers over the cobblestone walls, her own eyes wide with intrigue. She walked up stairs and down stairs, back and forth until she finally tired of the texture of the wood and grime and dirt. Marian had this habit of losing track of her surroundings when she was somewhere new, when she stopped touching everything she finally noticed how cold she was.

She could almost feel her lips changing color and clutched at the edges of her cloak, shivering. The reality of the situation set in with the cold. Marian was in a dangerous, unfamiliar place, with no idea how to get back to where she came from. It was dark, she was scared and alone. No, she wasn't alone. She could feel a presence approaching her and she spun to face it.

"Hey, hey now," the man spoke, "calm down, little lady, I'm not going to hurt you." He looked gruff, and dirty, and sounded specifically like he was lying. She stared back at him, hesitant to speak. "You just looked awful cold, I can help you fix that." He gave her a crooked grin.

"What?" Marian asked, stunned.

He stepped closer to her and his smell hit her nostrils, it was one of the purest forms of filth. "Just come back over here with me, I ain't gonna hurt you, promise. We can get rid of the cold in the _best _way possible."

She immediately stepped back, "No, thank you." She had tried to sound concrete in her answer, but the man continued to move closer.

"Oh, don't be like that, we both know you didn't wander down here for nothing, so just stop playing hard to get, love." His voice grew darker by the word.

"No, I- I don't want anything to do with you, sir." She backed up yet again, she truly believed that if she told him no again he would listen.

"Don't make this hard on either of us, please."

"You- You intend to attack me!" Marian exclaimed, naivete clearing.

"Well, not if you're willing." He shrugged and continued to advance, pulling a previously concealed blade from his waistband. Marian's heart sped, she acted on instincts that she didn't know she had. When she had dealt with the brigands on her way into the city she had simply scared them away, literally, but this was different. That was out in the open, not in the dark, and they had wanted her money, not _her._ The man stopped short, crippled by some unknown force, his face slowly distorting from his perverse expression to one of despair.

He looked to Marian for an explanation, for help he did not deserve. She stared back, unblinking, unflinching and merciless. Part of him knew it was her doing this, but he wasn't even sure what _this_ was. He had thought her weak when he chose her as his victim, so young and so innocent, but the look on her face now was entirely the opposite. Perhaps that was his greatest mistake, looking at her, for the longer he held eye contact the worse the feeling got, but he wasn't strong enough to look away. He had made quite the mistake indeed. It didn't register though, none of it did. He didn't care what her face looked like or how strong she may be, and in truth, despite the fact that he was staring her dead in the eye, his mind was no longer consciously aware of her presence.

In those few moments it felt like every instant of happiness he had ever had in his life was rendered meaningless. There was nothing, no life, no hope, and there never would be. The only thing he had now was depression and soul-crushing agony. The weight of the world rested on his shoulders and all he wanted was for it to be over. There was nothing he wanted more than for it to _just end_.

Then, at the apex of his despair, he slit his own throat without a moment's hesitation. His fresh corpse toppled to the ground and Marian leaped back in a rather comic manner. She had already justified that not only was it self-defense, but that it wasn't her fault. He was simply weak, a stronger man could have fought it. She hadn't even broke a sweat, his will was that feeble. So she took a deep breath and tried to return to her senses. She focused on the cold air again, the feel of the ground beneath her feet, the stench and the sounds.

The sounds! "Oh, Marian! Are you there?"

"Anders! Oh, it is good to see you!" Marian's lips turned up in an instant smile. She didn't know when he had arrived or what he had seen, but there was nothing more comforting to her right now than a friendly face.

"Ah, yes... and you. I was going to step in, but you seemed to have it handled." He didn't seem entirely like himself, though she had only known him for the day. He seemed shocked, and she quickly put together why.

"Oh yes, I'm terribly sorry about that. There must have been another way to resolve the situation, I just didn't think." Marian apologized.

"No, no, don't be sorry, I just- I didn't realize that you could do... _that._" He was obviously surprised, but he seemed understanding enough. He fought for mages like this, ones that were persecuted for things they were born to do, for talents they never asked for.

She sighed, "I've never had to before."

"You've- are you saying that that was the first time you..." Anders trailed off, more surprised at this than the manner of the man's death.

"I'm not even twenty, Anders, how many people had you killed by that age?" She raised an eyebrow in his direction.

He coughed and avoided the question, "Uh, yes, I just didn't expect- I mean, have you ever even been in battle before?"

"Oh, of course," Marian explained, avoiding the fact that the first time she had actually been in any real danger was hardly a matter of months, "I just, _I've_ never been the one to, well, you know. I just scare people, make them cowardly and clumsy, someone else always did the actual killing."

He nodded and smiled at her, "Will you be alright?"

"I will." She smiled back up at him, "I just- I didn't_ have_ to kill him."

"If you hadn't, I would have."

She continued, pleased that he was already willing to stick up for her to that extent, "You know, my father told me that there are two ways for us to kill a person without ever touching them, fear and despair. I'm not sure which is more inhumane." Anders listened diligently as she spoke, "He said that the first time you kill on instinct, well, that'll be your preference for the rest of your life."

"Wait," he replied, "your father intended for you to grow up to... _kill_ people?"

Marian stared at the corpse below her before she turned back to him, "It's sure looking that way, isn't it?"

* * *

_Past_

_Stanley. She calls herself Stanley. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with that. She's, well, I don't know, I've never met anyone like her in my life. She's a husky woman, with a voice to match. She wears long, flowing gypsy clothing, but unlike some of the other women she never shows any skin. Not that I want her to! Then there's Sally, she's a wrinkly old croon. I don't think she likes me. She said my 'stars show the truth'. Could she... know? No. No way. Oh! And I can't forget Filbert! He's a tiny little wisp of an elf, with sandy short hair and the face of a trickster, or at least he says so._

_ He showed me around today, then gave me a tutorial on liars. There were a lot of things to remember, and he said we'd go over it again, but I took notes! So I'll be prepared next time. I remember one thing quite vividly though. He said that if a stranger stresses that they aren't there to hurt you, they probably are. I wonder if that's true._

* * *

**A/N: **La-da-da-da, can you imagine what I can spin with that dream deal? I'll admit, I was hesitant about it, but I decided that hey, it's a logical step. She specializes in changing people's emotions anyway, it's not like she's a fire-breathing aardvark that suddenly has the ability to grow wings and walk on water. Side point as well, I hope I've done a good job explaining how Marian's magic works, it was kind of touch-and-go for a second there.

Alright! Enough of your rambling, Kurgs! When we return, Marian meets Aveline and Sebastian! The three, plus Hawke and the ever-angsty Fenris, head out to rescue the Viscount's son from that angry lady! Be sure to tune in! (Ugh, I don't think I'm ever doing that again...)


	4. Strange Magic

**A/N:** Alright! I'm back! I had school and stuff and it took up ALL OF MY TIME. For those of you that have stuck around, I thank you. Quick notes, 1, I know that the quest referenced here is in Act 1 when I've set this in Act 2, but whatever, and 2, the journal entries, they don't work all the time. I think I might start doing flashbacks here and there, yadda yadda, you know. If anyone is terribly, terribly upset about the lack of flanking journal entries, I apologize. Oh! And my typos, please forgive them, I try to catch everything, but some stuff slips through. Now, read on!

* * *

The air had warmed drastically in the time Marian had been out and about. The cold, early morning chill had slowly morphed to a calm heat. Things at the Hanged Man had progressed as they normally did; patrons took care of their business and then most of them moved along. This time of day those that stayed were few and far between, so Hawke and company had managed to acquire their own table with no trouble.

Aside from Hawke, the usual suspects were present, Varric, Isabela, and the ever-brooding Fenris. In truth, Fenris's presence had not been required, and though he refused to explain it to them, his motives for being there were noble. In the last few years he had come to see these people as his friends, even _with_ Hawke's particular form of magic. Marian, however, he saw as a threat. Even if they didn't understand her heinous potential for evil, he did. He had watched Danarius drive men to madness and back for his own amusement, seen people stripped of every ounce of meaning, torn apart until they took their own lives. That was his favorite way to kill, it wasn't a necessity, it was a game. How long, how hard would they fight it? Fenris had refrained from mentioning it the day before, it was such an awful thing. The power mages like this had over the weak and unprepared was astonishing, but at the very least, Fenris could be there. He knew what that magic felt like the instant it gripped your mind, and he could fight off this witch if he had to.

The group sat discussing the day's plans. They were simple enough, after meeting with Aveline and Sebastian at the Keep a small group consisting of Hawke, Isabela, Fenris and Marian were going out to rescue the Viscount's son. Isabela had insisted that they take Marian in Anders' place, and Hawke was relatively keen on the idea. He also had a flair for drama, and he would take it anywhere he could find it, or create it. So when Fenris had showed up Hawke was more than okay with letting him take Sebastian's spot on the day's roster. It was not such a terrible thing, after all, Sebastian _was_ complaining about how he had better things to do that day.

There was a slight issue though, Marian was nowhere to be found. Isabela had finally picked the lock on her door and discovered that she truly was missing. Hawke had decided that they would simply wait; they were a lively enough group and the time would pass with ease. He was correct, even Fenris's arrival had not hindered their enthusiastic momentum, but after a while it became evident that Anders was late as well. He wasn't yet aware of the change in plans, and even though it was normal for him to take his sweet time getting there, this was past the average delay.

"Now where in the world could that hot piece of ass have gotten off to?" Hawke mused aloud.

"Hawke! She's not even twenty!" Isabela scolded. Hawke was usually incredibly open about his sexuality, but the girl was a decade his minor.

He cracked a wide grin, "I was talking about Anders."

"Your... relationship... with him is, at times, disturbing." Varric remarked over Isabela's chuckle.

"More so than your obsession with an inanimate object?"

"Hey, there's a difference between obsession and love!" Varric dramatically corrected. They had had this conversation many a time, and the result was nearly always the same. Either Varric would proclaim his love for Bianca, or Hawke would point out that there was nothing wrong with 'appreciating beauty', or whatever crude version of that sentiment he chose.

Fenris let out an aggravated sigh, "Shouldn't we be more concerned with the missing mages?"

"Nah, with any luck they've found each other and they're on their way right now." Hawke answered, flippant as always.

"_Two_ dangerous mages out gallivanting around, what could possibly go wrong?" Fenris shook his head.

"Anders, maybe, but Marian is positively harmless." Isabela sounded condescending.

"If she is what she says she is, she is about as far from harmless as one can get." Things were getting heated again. Varric and Hawke could both see that this was going to be a tenuous subject between the two of them for some time.

"And you're so much better? Do you really think you can tell me that her body count is higher than yours?"

"_I_ do not have demons whispering to me in my sleep."

"Oh, and that _obviously_ makes it okay." The two were so consumed by their argument that they failed to see the missing party enter, together as Hawke so ingeniously deduced. Of course, Varric and Hawke had noticed them immediately, but had collectively decided to refrain from speech.

"If this is the conversation I think it is, well, I'm glad to see you're finally on my side Isabela." Anders was charming as usual.

"There you are!" Isabela exclaimed, ignoring his statement, and as he soon found out, him as well. "Where have you been, Marian?"

Marian had thus far been a quiet shadow, and she wasn't quite certain how to explain her absence. Luckily, she didn't have to as Anders took it upon himself to answer for her. He wrapped what she saw as a friendly arm around her shoulders in a slightly odd side hug, "Why she came to see me, of course!"

Marian genuinely giggled. She was thankful for the escape. Anders knew that she'd prefer everyone not know she had just wandered into Darktown and killed a man, and the whole experience had brought the two a little closer together. Marian was already starting to think that he was her first real friend. Sure, she liked Isabela, but there was something about his warm smile and the way he looked at her that drew her to him.

"Wonderful." Fenris muttered under his breath, which made Anders beam even brighter.

Anders took longer than he probably should have to release his vague grip on Marian, and everyone but Marian noticed. Varric took the awkward opportunity to hop off his chair and introduce himself. "Varric Tethras, good to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you."

Marian seemed shocked for a moment before she shook his outstretched hand, "Oh! Yes! Varric! The dwarf! I certainly haven't met very many dwarves, but I've heard they're either ornery or feisty, and they do wonderful work with stone and metal. Do you work with stone or metal, or are you one of the merchant dwarves? Or you could be with the Carta. I've heard a lot about the Carta and-"

"Kid! Calm down." Varric cut her off. In her jubilation at meeting a dwarf everything had come out as a single sentence, and near the end she seemed to be talking to herself more than to him, "To answer your question- or questions, my family is bunch of stinking merchants."

She stopped to think for a moment, "Do they really smell all that bad?"

Varric chuckled, "Oh yes! Every one of them."

As jovial as Hawke usually was, he couldn't help but stand up and cut the conversation short, "Alright! Are you all ready to go, or what?" He was well aware of something that everyone else seemed to be missing, Aveline. She was going to be pissed that they were running so late.

The group's reactions varied from Marian's adorable nod and smile to Fenris's annoyed grunt, but the result was the same; everyone got up and headed for the Keep, save Varric of course, who had apparently found something better to do with his day. As they walked Marian kept quiet. She was still staring at the architecture, but this time she was also covertly discerning the group's dynamics. In the time it took them to get to the Keep, all she had discovered was that everyone but Fenris seemed to be comic relief. She came to the conclusion that her limited contact with anyone other than her father and Nina didn't exactly lend to a wonderful grasp of social concepts.

When they entered the Keep, Isabela and Anders had to practically drag Marian along, she was so enthralled with the new building. "Is it going to be like this everywhere we go?" Fenris skeptically questioned Hawke as the other three lagged behind.

"Like what?" Hawke feigned ignorance.

"You know what I mean, Hawke. She is an absolute fool. She acts like she's never seen a city before this."

"What if she hasn't?" Hawke speculated.

"That's preposterous. Whether she looks it or not she's a grown woman, of course she's seen a city before."

"And _that_ is presumptuous. Isabela is right, Fenris, you need to at least give her a chance."

"That is not what I was talking about." Fenris gritted his teeth.

"Oh, but it is! And don't argue with me, I do know _everything_ after all." Hawke grinned and Fenris let out an exasperated sigh in return. The point could be argued no further though because they had come upon the Viscount's door and a very irritated Aveline was waiting for them.

"You are late." She stated after a moment of intense silence.

"Well yeah, blame Anders." Hawke deflected.

"No, no! Don't blame me. I had _nothing_ to do with it, Aveline." Anders' humor did not play well on her.

"I don't care why you're late, you're late. That's it. That bitch from the Winters was already here and if you want any chance at beating her to Saemus Dumar you better turn the hell around, _now._" She was far more upset than Hawke had expected her to be, but then again, he could see how the Viscount's son coming home mangled by a group of mercenaries might wind up affecting everyone more than a little harshly. Hawke just nodded and motioned everyone back towards the door, finding that now was not the time for introductions. Marian was not upset of course; she understood the urgency in Aveline's voice.

So they headed out to the Wounded Coast, conversation along the way consisted of Isabela talking about how Aveline wasn't all that bad, though no one had really said she was, and Anders lecturing Marian on how to avoid Templars, much to Fenris's dismay. Hawke was content to watch how things would unfold; in fact, his greatest source of amusement was in watching how Fenris reacted to the banter between the other two mages. The general emotion seemed to be abhorrence, but from time to time he almost looked distraught, much like Carver used to when his siblings had gone about practicing their magic.

Eventually the site of Saemus's apparent 'rescue' came into view. It was obvious that the Winters far outnumbered the small party, and that in no way could they simply leave Saemus there. Even from the distance he seemed distraught and obviously was refusing to return to Kirkwall with them.

"So, I assume you want go about this the usual way, stab first, questions later?" Isabela asked.

Hawke was silent for a long while, but no one interrupted his thought. As odd as he was, when it came to battle he was very efficient and surprisingly intelligent. Finally, he spoke, "These are all sell-swords, hired hands that just do what they're told. I don't think they all need to die because they were hired by the wrong person." No one argued because they were all aware of Hawke's mercenary background, except for Marian of course, but she didn't particularly care.

"Well how do you expect to get all of them away from the one person that does need to die?" Fenris was unsupportive, and when he heard Hawke's plan he would be even more so.

"I have an idea. Marian? Do you think you can handle this?" Hawke called on Marian, wanting to see her supposed abilities first-hand.

"I- um, yes! You want the mercenaries gone, and the nasty woman and the Viscount's son to stay, right?"

"Right!" Hawke agreed, "You can do that?"

Marian smiled, already feeling appreciated though she had yet to do anything, "Of course!"

"No! That is a terrible idea!" Fenris protested.

"So you would rather kill everyone here than give Marian a chance to prove herself?" Anders mocked him.

"That is not what I- ugh. I suppose it is your choice, Hawke." Fenris sighed, defeated. It was obvious that he was the only one wary of Marian.

"And I choose yes! Are you ready, Marian?" Hawke asked.

Marian simply nodded and they began their approach.

Saemus and the woman in charge were having a heated argument. Saemus was upset that she had killed his friend, and she was threatening to cut out his tongue. There was a fresh corpse at Saemus's feet, and he stood over it as though to protect him, even though he was Qunari. Saemus was the first to speak as Hawke and company arrived. "Thank the Maker you're here! I'll go back home, I don't care anymore, but I will _not_go with them."

"Like you have a choice, brat." The woman rebutted his proposal and turned to Hawke, "Sod off, you. We got 'ere first. Better luck next time."

Marian was frightened, being in the midst of a crowd this large, all poised to strike, was one of the most terrifying things she had ever encountered. It almost seemed as though she was going to freeze up and for a moment it was as though she did. She focused on her target and tried to remember that she wasn't alone. Everything was silent. Just as her companions started to grow agitated, the woman unexpectedly turned to look at Marian. She stared at her and squinted as though she was confused, and then she smiled.

"What is your name?" Marian asked in a soft, caring tone.

"Ginnis," she answered, "my name is Ginnis."

"That is a lovely name, Ginnis." Marian answered.

"Commander- what are you-" One of the Winters expressed his bafflement at this short interaction.

"Shut up!" Ginnis snapped at him, "Can't you see I'm havin' a conversation?"

"Ginnis?" Marian recalled her attention.

"Yes, what do you need?" Ginnis replied.

"I need you to send all these men home. Can you do that for me?"

"I- but I need them here, don't I?" Ginnis was unable to even recall why they were there or what they were doing.

"No. You don't. You are strong enough to do anything on your own, aren't you?" Marian preyed on Ginnis's bravado.

"You're right." Ginnis turned to her second-in-command, "Take everyone back to camp an' call off the reinforcements!" She barked.

"But-" He began to protest.

"No buts! _Go!_" She shouted.

"She's tricking you!" He argued.

"_Go!_" Ginnis repeated as she turned back to Marian, "She would never do that to me."

The man looked thoroughly bewildered, but saw no point in arguing with her further. Ginnis stayed transfixed on Marian as her small army filtered out of the area, and everyone remained silent until they had all gone. Marian turned to her allies, "Hawke? Would you?"

Hawke stepped forward, ready to finish the woman off, but he stopped short. Her eyes were almost glazed over and she didn't take any notice of him, even though it was relatively clear that he was going to kill her. "What- What exactly did you do to her?"

"Yes, _Marian_, what _did_ you do to her?" Fenris snarled.

Marian answered articulately, "I made her fall in love with me. People will do anything when they're in love."

"That's… kind of awesome, actually." Hawke smiled, but the other's reactions were dissimilar.

Isabela was skeptical, but shared some of Hawke's awe. Anders showed pride in his fellow mage. Fenris was disgusted.

"Does she not realize what you just said? That you _made_ this happen?" Isabela questioned.

"She might have a few minutes ago, but I have focused her so entirely on her emotions that she has blocked out the rest of the world. She hears my voice but she does not understand." Marian was unnervingly calm, "Could you kill her now, Hawke? I doubt she'll feel a thing."

Hawke nodded and a few moments later it was all over. Ginnis was dead. Saemus stepped forward, "Thank you for rescuing me, Hawke. I am sure my father has a wonderful reward waiting for you."

"You should thank Marian. This would have been a lot bloodier if not for her." Hawke replied.

Marian moved toward him and offered to shake his hand, but he cringed back from her. "Stay away from me. I saw what you did. _Stay away!_" Saemus sounded both scared and angry.

Marian was crushed. Tears welled up in her eyes and her face clearly displayed her sadness. "Hey!" Anders angrily interjected, "That woman killed your friend there, she was going to cut your tongue out, and you're upset with the woman who saved you?"

"Anders, it is alright. I am used to it." Her voice was still as sweet as it always was, but it was somewhat lower than it should have been.

"No, Marian, this isn't acceptable."

"I am inclined to agree, but I suppose there is nothing we can do. Come on, Saemus, your father is waiting." Hawke was quite upset by Saemus's behavior and almost regretted not letting him go back to the Keep with the Winters.

The walk back was longer than the walk there and it was relatively silent. Even after they left Saemus at the Keep things remained melancholy. Marian's enthusiasm still hadn't returned by the time they reached the Hanged Man. The group stopped outside the entrance because it was supper time and there was no chance at hearing one another inside.

"Well, we did what we set out to do." Hawke stated.

"Indeed." Fenris shook his head, upset for an entirely different reason than the others.

"When do you need us again, Hawke?" Isabela asked.

Hawke was the king of the turn-around; at the mention of a later event he perked up. "Ruffians! We'll run around and beat up ruffians! It'll be perfect. Fenris and Marian, you're both coming with, and then, I think…"

"Aveline, obviously." Fenris finished his thought, indifferent to the excursion.

"No, no, no!" Hawke protested, "Sebastian! And then after that he'll head back to the Chantry and we'll pick up Merril and go see if there's any slavers camped out in Darktown, and there always are!"

"Merril? Really?" Fenris found a problem with being stuck in the company of three mages, all with their own major downfalls.

"Yes, Merril! It will be phenomenal. Then we'll meet everyone back here for drinks!" Hawke was incredibly excited with the prospect of the next day's events.

"I don't drink." Marian spoke up.

"Not even water?" Hawke asked with a smirk, which garnered a similar one from Marian, though she quickly returned to her depressed state. "No objections?" Hawke asked rhetorically, giving no time for anyone to voice an opinion. "Then it's decided! See you all sometime tomorrow!"

Hawke practically skipped away, Fenris following after him (it was a shame they lived in the same direction) with hardly any recognition of a goodbye.

"Well, we should head in then, I'm sure Varric will want to know of your daring feat today, Marian!" Isabela attempted to lighten the situation.

"I… actually didn't sleep much last night. I think I'm going to head straight to bed, I do have to be up tomorrow, you know?" Marian forced a smile.

"I do." Isabela patted her on the shoulder, "Sleep well."

"Goodnight, Isabela. Goodnight, Anders." Marian made sure to address each of them in turn.

"Wait! Marian!" Anders called as she headed for the door, "Let me walk you to your room, it's rowdy in there."

Marian shyly nodded and they stepped inside, followed shortly by Isabela. The two cut their way through a bustling crowd that seemed centric on a single table. Though they couldn't see or hear who was at the table, they rightly assumed it to be Varric, and then they lost Isabela after her favorite barstool showed up.

After the two mages ascended the short stairs and turned the corner things quieted drastically. Marian stopped at her door, "Thank you, Anders."

He smiled down on her, now that things were quiet he noticed just how much taller he was. "Not a problem, Marian. Will you be alright?"

"Of course, it was just, shocking, that's all."

"Don't ever be ashamed of who you are, Marian."

"I'll be sure to remember that." Marian truly felt better, just talking to him, "Goodnight again, Anders."

"Marian?"

"Yes?"

"Have you cast one of your spells on me?" Anders was joking, of course, but Marian was confused.

"Oh no! Of course not, I would never-"

"Marian! That's not what I meant." He stopped her, but she still did not understand, "I just, I know I've only known you a day or so, but I don't like seeing you upset. It's heartbreaking." Marian didn't know what to say, so she smiled back. "Goodnight Marian."

* * *

**A/N:** I kept wanting to type Saemus as Sawemust. Don't ask me why because I don't know. Anyway, R&R, all that good stuff, and remember, I promise, this _is_ a Fenris story, just bear with me. With the way I wrote Anders in this chapter I'm starting to like him more, but that's probably because he's more Awakening Anders than Justice Anders. Either way, stay tuned for more, and it shouldn't be nearly as long as the last wait.


End file.
